Youth Gone Wild - July 2, 2008
At some point you stop caring about the consequences. And that's when you're truly free to do anything.
I just went outside and smashed two whiskey bottles into the center of my street. I'm not sure why I did it other then the fact that it felt like a good idea.
We all feel like just losing our shit at some point. But we don't ever do it. We bury that feeling down deep, we repress it. We go to work every day and smile in the face of our asshole boss. Or capitulate to our girlfriend's demands because we think, "if I can just make her happy then everything will be alright."
I did it. I worked jobs I hated because I wanted that next promotion. I drove my ex-girlfriend around to whatever errand she had to run because I thought if she could just see how much I loved her, she would fall in love with me all over again.
We do stupid, foolish things because we think it's what we're supposed to do. I did stupid, foolish things because I watched my parents hate their jobs and hate each other and so I figured that's what life is supposed to be like.
Being happy is harder than being fucked up. Being fucked up is the norm. It's easy to live beyond your means or medicate with anti-depressants so you can wake up and go to work every morning.
I'm not saying that I'm above any of this shit. I'm still smashing bottles into city streets in a vain, stupid effort to find meaning in it all.
But I want to be above it. I desperately want to be above it.
Posted by Ben Corman at 11:29 PM
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Ben, go and clean that shit up.
Posted by: Andrew McMillen at July 3, 2008 02:58 AM
Impromptu head butts seem like a good start.
Posted by: Jeff at July 3, 2008 03:28 AM
Uhm, Chuck Palahniuk already has this covered.
Posted by: Tyler Durden at July 3, 2008 09:06 AM
Reading this came at a time when I thought about that same Fight Club quote too. It's true though - there is a shit ton of effort you have to put into the prospect of being happy. You have to try a lot of different things, really evaluate how you feel about them, and tear yourself away again and again from what's comfortable. I hate it sometimes, but then I find that the farther along I am in my own trials, the less I start to relate to a lot of people. Lonely - yes, but definitely better. I guess that's one indication that I'm doing something right.
Posted by: Brett Crudgington at July 3, 2008 11:24 AM
Awesome post.
Posted by: Ron at July 3, 2008 11:57 AM
I did the same thing the other night except with beer bottles. Didn't really realize what I was doing at the time or why. Now I do.
Posted by: Anonymous at July 3, 2008 04:00 PM
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