Any idiot can face a crisis. It's the day to day living that wears you out.
-Anton Chekhov

I really wanted to take today off. It's a Saturday, my back hurts from sitting at this desk day after day and I'm developing problems in my right wrist if I type too long. And I'm feeling a little burned out right now. Despite what I say about writing every day, I've only really practice that when I'm working on a project. In the past these have been the first or second drafts of short stories and even a twenty page short story only takes me six or seven days to write if I'm working every day.

This is the first time that I've written everyday for months. I started this project in mid-June and except for a week off at the end of July, I've written every day. It doesn't sound all that hard, really. Most people either work or go to school. Their time commitment is probably more per day than I spend writing. I'm only good four or five hours before I have to get up and walk away from the computer.

While it doesn't sound hard, the easiest person in the world to lie to is yourself. School and work, they have consequences. If you don't put in the time, you fail. Whether that means you get kicked out or fired, the result is the same. With those commitments you have an external motivator, a consequence hanging over your head.

With writing the only consequence is that the project doesn't get done. I've got a job that I really enjoy. If I don't write, it's not like I'll starve. If I don't write there aren't any external consequences. I don't have a deadline, I don't have an editor breathing down my neck. If I don't write, I simply don't write.

In a way that makes it easier not to write. If you spend everyday with someone in your face telling you you're going to fail, there's a good chance you'll succeed just to spite them. If you have to do amazing things to eat, chances are you'll do amazing things because you can't afford to fail. The worst thing in the world for motivation isn't hardship, it's comfort.

We recently did an interview with Tucker and in it he wrote something that struck me. The question was "Does such self-confidence allow you to experience 'writer's lows' like feelings of self-doubt or writer's block? If so, how do you deal with it?" And he wrote

I deal with those things by pushing through them, [by] looking at them like they are enemies to be attacked. I force myself through those bad parts because I refuse to submit to defeat or failure or resistance, no matter where it comes from.

If I hadn't read that in the last couple of days, I'm not sure I would have forced myself to sit down and write. I may have taken the easy way out, told myself it was all right to take the day off. That I'd hit it hard tomorrow.

The truth is that great things are accomplished by people who push through pain, who get the work done no matter what. Great things aren't accomplished by people who make excuses. Even when those excuses are valid, they're still excuses. It's still a reason the work didn't get done.

This isn't to say that I couldn't have a good life if I never finished this novel. I know a lot of people who go to work every day, who work regular hours and come home. They don't have any grand projects that shape who they are. They're happy. They've got a good life. But it's not the life I want. I have something to say and I want the chance to say it. I don't know if this book will resonate with people. I don't know if my site will be a success or if my words will ever end up on the shelf of a bookstore. That all comes later. All I know is that if I don't write it, then the answer is clear. If I don't write it then none of that can happen.

It comes down to a simple question. Do I want to do good things or do I want to do great things? Am I the kind of person who gets it done or do I make excuses?

Today I sat down and wrote.

Posted by Ben Corman at 8:23 PM

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