At breakfast the next morning I realized it was the day of the party. I thought I would have cared more but it felt far away, like it couldn't touch me. Jean had been giving me sideways looks all morning and I wondered if she had finally recognized me. I hoped not and I finished breakfast as quickly as possible in case she had. I didn't want to answer her questions.
I spent the rest of the morning in a café drinking coffee and imagining a life with Michelle in a sleepy little beach town. We'd find jobs that we didn't care much about and live in a small apartment with cheap rent so we could work part time. She'd teach me how to surf and we'd spend everyday at the beach.
I think I had missed my last final and for all the talk about graduating, I didn't know what to do now. I told myself that I needed nothing more than I small life by the beach.
I walked into the Cantina a little after noon and found my table in the back. Michelle was taking an order and winked at me when I came in. When she was done she sat across from me.
"So you surf?" She asked.
"I thought you had that figured out."
"I said you weren't a surfer. I didn't say you couldn't stand on a surfboard. So how about it?"
"I've seen it on TV, how hard can it be?"
"Oh it's like that, is it?"
"It's like that."
"Well then I'll show you. Tomorrow morning six in the AM. We all meet right here. I'll even bring you a board."
"See you then."
That night I went to bed early looking forward to both the early wake up call and my new life as a surfer. Everything felt right, I told myself.
The alarm went off the next morning and I was rubbing the sleep out of my eyes when there was a knock on my door. I didn't remember telling Michelle where I was staying and thought it was weird that she'd come get me. I opened the door and found Lynn standing there looking, for once, uncomposed and nervous. We stared at each other for a moment, both of us a little surprised. She stepped into the room and kissed me hard on the mouth.
"Hi." I said a moment later when she pulled back.
"You. Are. An. Asshole." She said, enunciating every word.
"You drove all the way out here to call me an asshole?"
"Yes."
"Ok."
"You're an asshole because I went to your apartment early, before the party. I wanted things to be all right between us. I wanted to give you the chance to apologize for being a jerk. I wanted to give you the chance to buy me dinner so we could hangout and be friends again. But no, you weren't there. And Ryan hadn't seen you in days and you're too good to answer your phone. And you made me drive hour and hours and I had to stop in everyone of these stupid little towns just to find this place all so I could call you an asshole." She said.
"That's quite a list."
"And you still owe me dinner."
"How about coffee?" The clock said a quarter till six.
"It's a start."
"Ryan is probably pissed." I said when the waitress brought our coffee.
"Yeah he is."
"I'll have to call him later. Did you bring your phone?"
"What happened to yours?"
"I threw it into the ocean."
"Glad to see that you've been handling things in a calm and rational matter."
"I'm not the one driving around calling people assholes."
"So what now?"
"I was going to drink my coffee."
"Ryan told me about Sarah. How you and her used to come here."
"That was a long time ago."
"So it's ok that I'm here?" She asked. I looked around the coffee shop. It was a new place, right down the road from the Seaside. I'd never been there before and it was the same as all the other new cafes in town. Too polished to have any real character. And the coffee wasn't even that good.
"Yeah. I think it is."
Later that afternoon while Lynn slept off the drive I finished the letter to Sarah's parents. We went for a walk later and I dropped it in a mailbox.
"What was that?" She asked.
"Nothing. Just a letter I've been meaning to write."
I checked out of the Seaside that afternoon. Lynn and I had decided to stay on the coast for a few days but it didn't seem right staying at the Seaside. I wanted to start fresh.
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Chapter 23 | Suicide and Keg Stands Index |
Posted by Ben Corman at 9:07 AM