Four Months Sober - August 24, 2008

I found out the other day that a friend of mine is four months sober. That's not something you wake up one morning and realize. Like "hey, I haven't been to the bar in a hundred and twenty days, oops." Four months sober is something you keep track of, it's a key chain. It's something that you talk about in rooms full of people, about whom you only know first names, over cups of watery coffee.

Four months sober is a phrase that carries a lot of weight. Implication. It says that I'm now old enough to have friends who have to go to rehab. Friends who have to work steps and have sponsors on call. I'm not really ready to be old enough for all this.

Don't get me wrong, I've had friends who have had to go through court-mandated programs. We are a group that enjoys a good time after all. But a court mandated program is like getting grounded by your parents. Yeah, you did it. Yeah, you got caught and so yeah, you've got to do the time. But getting grounded, even if it's by the state, is just a temporary thing. Eventually you get your TV privileges back and we'll see you at happy hour again.

My own relationship with alcohol is, in facebook parlance, complicated. I know I drink more than I should, probably because alcohol is the only thing that really helps me with my insomnia, which I've suffered from for as long as I can remember. And alcoholism sits so squarely at the center of my dad's side of the family that we set a place at the table for it at family reunions. It's always been one of those things that I know has the potential to be a problem, has been a problem in the past, and yet as long as I'm managing now, I try not to look too closely at.

And knowing this, knowing that I might be living in a beautifully constructed glass house, it gets a little uncomfortable when your friends start tossing around rocks with names like substance abuse and problem drinker and need help. It doesn't matter that they're inadvertent rocks or that they're not really aimed at you, glass houses are rarely built to code.

Posted by Ben Corman at 5:59 PM

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Great writing. You and I could very well be on the same booze bus. I've been grounded by Uncle Sam before and had to attend his mandated meetings too. I was still surprised when an old buddy stopped by the bar and ordered a cranberry juice and talked about the temptation of even being in a bar. At 28 I'm way to fucking young for this. I'll wait till my second liver before I start drinking that shit and talking about my program.

Posted by: Guy Fawkes at August 25, 2008 12:19 PM

I too have an insomnia problem. I'm also a light sleeper, so when I finally do fall asleep, it isn't for very long.

Take a look at something called Melatonin. It's like a simple vitamin you can pick up almost anywhere. I got mine from WalMart. I've been taking it every night for a while now, and it helps me fall asleep quickly, regardless of how long I've napped during the day.

Take a look at the wikipedia page about it. I realize this sounds like an advertisement, but it seriously helps.

Posted by: Dominic at August 25, 2008 02:36 PM

Hey Dominic,

I've tried Melatonin before. It worked for me for about a year and then stopped. I'm not sure if I built up a tolerance for it or if something else was going on in my life that I don't remember now (this was five or six years ago) but there came a point where I was taking 4-5 of them a night and nothing was happening.

I might give it another try though, maybe it'll be different this time.

Posted by: Ben Corman at August 25, 2008 03:06 PM

You could try valerian root instead of melatonin.

Posted by: Eugene at August 26, 2008 08:14 AM

I kinda know how you feel. Alcoholism runs in my family, and my mother loves to remind me of this any time I drink a beer. Christs sake she told me I needed to quit drinking about a month after I turned 21.. In my opinion there is an ok and a bad type of alcoholic. The ok kind drink and have fun, the bad kind get drunk and angry. Just my opinion.

Anyway, try drinking this tea about an hour before bed: http://www.eyanghealth.com/superior-relaxing-tea.html

It knocks me the hell out with 1-2 cups.

Posted by: Thatguy85 at August 27, 2008 09:54 AM