Suicide and Keg Stands - Chapter 8 - December 17, 2007

We got back Friday afternoon and Lynn dropped me off at my place. She said she felt fine, she'd call me later if she was still awake. Ryan wasn't there when I walked in. I flipped through the channels for a while and didn't know what to do with myself. Georgia stopped by on her way to a house party I wasn't really interested in.

"Is your roommate seeing anyone?"

"Have you two even met?"

"I was talking to him at the bar last week."

"I don't think he is."

"Have you talked to John recently?"

"No. Why?"

"He's been all fucked up since he went home last week. He's all twitchy and weird and I want to know why."

"You could ask him."

"Don't be stupid. Anyway, you should come to this party."

"I don't want to go to this party."

"It's going to be fun."

"I don't like fun."

"Shut up. I'm going to get out of here," she said, looking around my apartment. I followed her gaze and it seemed small and sad, and the thought of sitting there watching TV all night made me nervous, like something bad was going to happen.

"Alright. I'll go."

"Really?"

"You talked me into it."

The party sucked though. I didn't know anyone and it was mostly freshmen. They crowded around the keg laughing at tired jokes that weren't funny. I thought everyone was dressed as douchebags until one girl bounced up and brightly asked me what my costume was.

"I'm dressed as a college student, but really I'm narcotics officer. I'm not supposed to tell anyone that," I said.

"That doesn't make any sense," she said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her.

"It's an eighties costume party. You think we all dress like this normally?" She asked like I was the idiot.

I found Georgia talking to a guy and told her I was going to take off.

"This is Tim," she screamed above the music.

"Yeah, great. I'm going home. They've played 'Safety Dance' like three times and if hear it one more time, I'm going to beat my own face in."

"Hi. I'm Tim." He leaned in to shake my hand.

"Yeah. Congratulations," I said, ignoring his hand. "Georgia. I'm leaving."

"Wait like half an hour and I'll go with you."

"Fine, but don't disappear."

When I checked the time on my phone I saw that I'd missed a call from Lynn. I called her back but there was no answer. I didn't know if she was calling me to come over or just to say goodnight. I debating just going to her place, but I didn't want to be weird about things if that's not why she was calling.

Instead I wandered around the second floor of the house looking in medicine cabinets and through people's movie collections. A guy and a girl, both drunk, crashed their way down the hall. I stuck my head out of a bathroom where I was stealing two Valium from a pill bottle. When he saw me he said, "Dude," and gave me a nod. I swallowed the Valium with a handful of water. I couldn't find Georgia so I left.

Chapter 7 | Suicide and Keg Stands Index | Chapter 9

Posted by Ben Corman at 8:08 AM

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Comments

Ben
I've really enjoyed reading Suicide and Keg Stands. You're a great writer, but this was the worst chapter by far.

It doesn't really advance the plot and ends abruptly. I actually thought my reader somehow cut off the rest of the chapter. It sounds remarkably like one of my standard nights out, nothing worth writing about.

With that said, you've got much more experience and talent than I do. Maybe the missed phone call is important to later chapters. Maybe you needed to explain why you were on Valium. I guess I'll have to wait and see.

All the best

Posted by: Brad Nolden at December 17, 2007 02:55 PM

Hey Brad,

I agree. This chapter is short and doesn't really reveal anything new about the characters or the plot (I'd like to think though that when the story is taken as a whole, this chapter is important). I also understand that most people don't read fiction chapter by chapter. They'll read a book for a while and throw in a bookmark and come back to it when they're ready. The chapters are almost more for the author than the reader, as a way to logically organize a story.

I really struggled with how to publish Suicide and Keg Stands on this site. I know that I'm forcing people to read the story in an unnatural way by just giving them a chapter at a time. I wish I could just publish the whole thing and let people read it at the pace they want to read it at. Unfortunately I'd end up with some traffic for a week or two then lose my readership while I took the time to write my next story.

I hope I'm writing something here that people will want to come back to over and over again. Unlike my blog posts, which I assume people will read and move on from, I want stories like Suicide and Keg Stands and Hawaii to be worth of a second and third read. Maybe I'm overestimating my ability to tell a story.

So yeah, while this chapter may not be great, it's part of a larger whole. And I'm hoping that when the whole story is told people will take the time to read it again at their own pace and enjoy it that way as well because I think it's ultimately stronger that way.

And if that doesn't convince you. Chapter 9 is much, much longer. So there's that.

Anyway, thanks for reading.

-Ben

Posted by: Ben Corman at December 17, 2007 03:21 PM

What you're doing with posting the chapters is similar to what Warren did with "White Dwarf" on DevilMonkey.net, here.

"Shut up. I'm going to get out of here." She said I looked around my apartment.

Do you see it?

Posted by: Wayland at December 18, 2007 11:53 AM

"since he went home a last week."

Yes, it's short. And the ending was a bit abrupt. But it feels like it's supposed to be short and that it's just setting the mood for something that's about to happen.

As for why he's taking the valium, why else? He doesn't want to feel what he's feeling.

I can relate. But I just use chocolate and gin to take the fear away. ;)

Posted by: Tracey at December 19, 2007 03:09 PM